I have been pursuing my career as a freelance artist for 3 years now and I've realised that being your own boss is a lot tougher than it first sounds. Of course, on the plus side you spend all day with your fluffy cat beside you, drinking tea whilst you tackle the daily to dos, but being the decision maker can make it all too appealing to avoid those things that we aren't so good at or that make us feel uncomfortable. For me, that is public speaking.
I am a very shy person by nature, so sitting in my house all day with my pencils and paper, not talking to anyone and not going outside is actually very attractive, and don't get me wrong, I do this a lot, but recently I realised that in order to progress further, I have to make little changes in my everyday life.
I'm not about to go and give a speech in front of 2000 people, but I have started venturing out of my comfort zone a little bit. Something I have been so scared to do for such a long time is put my face online, which probably sounds ridiculous in this selfie crazed age, but I'm not just shy in person, but also incredibly camera shy.
The video below is the first time I have filmed myself properly for my YouTube channel and I actually decided not to cut out any of the audio because playing it back, I found my constant tripping and stumbling over my words pretty hilarious.
Something else I talk about in the video is getting out of the house, and this is something that I have really struggled to do on my own over the past few years because I have felt so precious over my time that any moment that I'm not sat at my desk I have felt very guilty.
Haworth is one of my favourite places to go and I'm always telling myself how lucky I am to live so close by and I want to make the most of it, so I have started walking there on my own a couple of times a week and just having a look through the shop windows and watching everyone packing up at the end of the day. There is always something happening there, they really put a lot of effort into celebrating and keeping the community alive so it's just such a lovely place to spend your time. All of the shops on this cobbled little street are independent, cute gift shops, restaurants and cafes, book shops, art galleries and pubs, there's not a franchise in sight which is so refreshing for someone like me who spent the first decade of my life living in the centre of a big city.
I hope to continue pushing myself outside of my comfort zones even more this year, I am currently preparing for a big art project that will definitely be a huge challenge for me creatively, I'm both excited and terrified!
Wish me luck !
Camile
xoxo